So this is the tough part!

Written Jun 28, 2011 10:46pm

I have not wanted to update this journal because I haven’t wanted to be too negative, but I have not felt well at all the last couple of weeks. I still have gigantic mouth sores, and it is very hard to eat and drink because of it. When I went in for chemo #4 they almost did not give it to me because my white blood cell count was so low. My red blood cell count is also very low, and this is probably why I am feeling sooooooo tired all the time. I could basically sleep all day! BUT I do have kids to take care of, and that is not possible.

I have gotten a lot of help the last few days. My wonderful niece came with me for chemo on Friday, and she is still here. I don’t know how I would have made it through the last few days without her!! There have also been some other friends who have continued to stop by, take kids for a while, or just ask how I am. I really am so lifted by all the people who care.

I am hoping for good news on July 7th. That is when I will have my PET scan to find out how all this chemo stuff is actually working. I am just praying so hard that it is killing the cancer. If it is, then this is all worth it!!

I am also praying to feel a little better and get rid of my mouth sores so that I can eat and have energy to take care of my family. If I’m going to be here, I don’t want to be worthless!!!

I know that this is the tough part, and I am trying to be positive throughout it. I will admit that it is hard because I feel like I am just trying to make it through each day right now. But I also know that I have much to be grateful for, and I am!!! I am also grateful that I am this far into chemo now, and that I’m not just starting at the beginning right now. I am making it bit by bit!!